Friday, May 1, 2009

i nearly destroyed the world yesterday

I surely do not need to tell you how a single act can destroy the world as we know it.

A misspoken word. A forgotten embellishment on a piece of jewelry.

Yesterday, I held in my hand what I believed to be a finished wax model. The world was gay. Birds chirp outside the window, and all seemed well with the universe.

Fools we were, for the most essential piece of the pendant was missing; the door handle to the garnet door. A simple enough mistake, however without the handle, nothing in heaven or on earth could pry the door on it's hinges.

Dr. Bard could never have entered the door. He could never have gone back in time to June 28th, 1838, to the coronation of Queen Victoria, and removed an embarrassing square of bathroom tissue from the heel of her uncle, King Leopold I of Belgium. (He accomplished this by discreetly stepping onto the revealed edge of the tissue as King Leopold stepped away.) This simple act averted disaster, as the errant tissue would have been a public scandal that would have ultimately destroyed the alliance between Belgium and England. WWI would have started nearly fifty years early. This would have made the original 1914 conflict we know of as WWI, WWII; and the original WWII, WWIII. This final conflict would have left the world a smoking cinder.

For want of an extra shoe the tissue wasn't lost.
For want of a shed tissue the alliance was lost.
For want of an alliance the world was lost.


  1. A shed tissue does built strong alliances.

  2. > A shed tissue does built strong alliances.

    History proves this true.

    Not, of course the drivel pass on as fact and taught in our schools. But the richer history of doors, and sea monsters and mushrooms that second as houses...