Awesome lost word for the day:
Kerfuffle
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Used in sentences:
"The awesome lost word for the day is kerfuffle."
"Kerfuffle starts with a 'K'. "
"I do not know what kerfuffle means."

Small, random events do not always cancel each other out.

The back hatch is closed with just shy the force needed to extinguish the car's interior light -- a butterfly flutters it's wings.

"Consequences? To the devil with your consequences," Dr G exclaimed, throwing a large casting flask against the laboratory wall. "All of these flasks are too small! Order me the 4.5 inchers -- No, wait... five inch flasks! By the gods I shall have five inchers and utilize every shred of casting space!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked, turning and glaring at his assistant.

"Heaven help us," replied his assistant, bowing in acknowledgment and slinking away.

Amber pods and dog bones...

it sounds sorta like a poem
but it isn't

just a list of mundane chores
rattling around in my head
trying to cling to some higher purpose
wedged between
remembering where i put my phone,
wondering why the music stopped,
and worrying about whether I spent too much on Ebay yesterday

amber pods and dog bones...
what does it even mean???

oh yeah, amber pods and dog bones,
i remember.

ticks

How easy it is to reduce oneself to nothing.
To store in 'edit mode' the scars and folds that make us human.
To pick and choose a persona like an entree on a menu.

sharpie

I discovered today, quite by accident, that on the opposite end of my nearly-spent Sharpie - nestled under a small black cap - stood a thinner, more precise tip. How life could have been different had I known.

dr who

There are events in life that define our humanity - singular pivot points from which spring the threads of our future: the birth of a child, the death of a parent or spouse. For a nerd, there is no other singular, life-changing and magnificent event to compare with the release of the new 'Dr Who' episodes - from here we begin to understand our hero, we begin to shape our reality.

Spending the better part of this evening wallowing in the slightly cool, wet puddle of Nearly Done - nearly done with a way-too-big list of assignments. With over half of the items designed, cast, photoed and listed: all horrifying, cannot-work-out-in-my-head glitches passed. It all seems to fit, and does not need me or my paranoia anymore.

Just going to wallow in the funky, post-terror head-rushes a bit. Maybe longer. Before the yet-to-be-fixed infected egg pendant, mindworm pendant and sand creature ring problems resurface fully.

rescue from gilligan's island

In Rescue from Gilligan's Island, (1978), we see a continuation in a series dedicated to studying the Hellenistic search for the 'Ideal Male'. A society-within-a-society, the 'male hut' provides us with the two facets of the 'perfect male' study.

In Gilligan, we have the younger ideal: the bright-eyed, androgynous student, subservient to the older and wiser 'alpha-male'. Although somewhat the bumbling fool, we observe, time after time, the young understudy both stumbling into, and actively building a better future - albeit a mistake-prone exercise. This is represented, for example, by Gilligan naively starting a dangerous cooking fire on the raft deck; this youthful, impetuous act turns out to be the life-saving rescue signal for both the inner male society, and society at large.

We observe both the initial conflict with, and gradual acceptance by the elder 'ideal' counterpart, as it becomes a passive observer into this evolving 'brave new world'.
to be continued...

More in this series:
Goddess Torn Asunder - the Ginger / MaryAnn Paradox, or The Athena Duality, Armless and Overboard

turnip

The ancient turnip sat on the windowsill, confident that it was too old and too ugly to be considered food by the spastic, foul-smelling herbivores mulling about in the kitchen.

reality

I reject your reality,
and replace it
with the tasty goodness of Cheese Nips
and ice cold Kool-Aid.

hypochondriasol

cut to commercial

(chance meeting of two friends in line at grocery store. cut into ongoing conversation)

Friend 1: So, how have you been doing?
Friend 2 Oh about the same, I guess.

(freeze and pull back from conversation)

off camera voice: Do you have average health?
Are you concerned you might be sick even though you feel OK?
You may be suffering from Average Health Syndrome.
Average Health Syndrome is a condition with a specific set of symptoms that can be diagnosed by your doctor.
Studies show that over 80% of people with prescription drug coverage suffer from untreated Average Health Syndrome.
Now there might be help.

(cut to man in doctor suit)

Doctor: I am here to talk to you about a new medication. (hold up bottle) Hypochondriasol. In clinical studies, people with average health who took Hypochondriasol, and were asked if they felt better, were three times more likely to respond, "yes", or at least "I think so".
(new camera angle)
Hypochondriasol was designed by a person with average health, for a person with average health.
(new camera angle)
Only your doctor can determine if you have average health for your age, and if Hypochondriasol might be right for you.

(cut to very non-threatening view of children playing in a grassy park)

Really quick voice:Warning: Hypochondriasol is not for everyone. Hypochondriasol should not be taken by people who are really sick. This medication may cause headaches, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, bleeding from ears, or dry mouth. Discontinue this medication, and consult your doctor if you experience periods of elation lasting more than four hours, as this may be disruptive to future pharmaceutical ad campaigns, and also may be a symptom of a rare, but serious side effect which could cause your head to explode. Hypochondriasol should not be taken with other drugs that were developed before their corresponding illnesses were concocted.

(new scene of friends in line at grocery store)

Friend 1: So, how have you been doing?
Friend 2 Oh about average..., actually..., maybe a little better than average.

(freeze image of friend 2 smiling)

off camera voice: Ask your doctor about Hypochondriasol.

duct tape

As yet another proof of the wonders of duct tape:

Remember the difficulties NASA encountered finding a material that would allow space shuttles to re-enter the earth's atmosphere without overheating and burning up?

A little known fact is that Russia had this problem solved nearly a decade earlier using an extract from ordinary duct tape. This compound, dubbed 'Factor D', has extraordinary insulation properties. A layer of Factor D one tenth of a millimeter thick has the same insulating properties as a stack of space shuttle tiles stacked over twenty feet thick.

To put this into perspective, if the surface of the sun was sprayed with a thin coat of Factor D, and hotdogs were placed on this protective layer, you would have to wait over 10,000 years before the wienies were warm enough to serve!

When two Factor D molecules touch, it is also nearly impossible to peel them apart - Factor D more than likely plays an important role in duct tape's adhesion.

Presently, the high cost of Factor D makes it's use impractical by the general public. (Nearly 8,000 cubic feet of duct tape must be refined to extract one milligram of pure Factor D). It is estimated, however, that the average single-family home, properly insulated with Factor D, would have a combined heating and cooling bill of US$0.11 per decade.

The Russian scientist, Dr. Alexander Morozov, who first discovered Factor D has authored two books on the subject that are now available in English, Finding 'D' - One Scientists Journey, and The Effects of Tape Adhesion on the Class Struggle.

video of the day

Today's video is brought to you by Etsy Crystals. A tablespoon of delicious Etsy Crystals dissolved in warm water for breakfast will be all the Etsy you need for the day. No more surfing through webpage after webpage of useless hipster junk...not any more! Drink a delicious cup of Etsy Crystals every morning, and before you know it you will be cheerfully rummaging through stinky trash looking for missed recyclables...that's Etsy Crystals folks, and you know it's gonna be a good morning!

Today's video, 'Pirosbetüs Napok', (roughly translated 'Important Day'), is by an early 1980s rock band from Hungary that called themselves 'Trabant'. Forgive the quality of the video (adds to the mood, methinks), as 1980's Hungarian New Wave videos are as rare as... well... 1980's Hungarian New Wave videos.

Notably, Víg Mihály on guitars went on to collaborate with film director Bela Tarr.

moo

Prehistoric times...

Cow 1: "In the future, super-intelligent creatures will use our udder liquid to enhance their warm beverages. They will suck the liquid out into giant vats using high-tech, metallic pumping devices."

Cow 2: "yeah, right"

fishstick pizza

One Totino's 3 Cheese Party Pizza
1/3 box Walmart Great Value Fish Sticks, 24.7 oz
Smiley face's worth of Huy Fong's Sriracha Hot Sauce -
(Hot sauce with angry red rooster on label)
0ne box Sunshine brand Chees-its Crackers (optional)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Remove Totino's 3 Cheese Party Pizza from cardboard box and heat-shrink plastic bag. Sprinkle escaped cheese slivers and anything else left in shrink wrapping back on top of pizza. Arrange Walmart Great Value Fish Sticks atop pizza in a spoke design emanating from the center of pizza.

Bake pizza in oven for 12 minutes, then impatiently crank oven all the way to broil mode. Remove pizza when popping noises are heard. (Pizza should be slightly blackened on peaks and bottom, slightly cool to the touch under center fish sticks.)

Place on large plate and cut into 4 pieces. (Cut with fish stick grain, not against.)

Draw smiley face on pizza with hot sauce.

With one shaky motion, pour Chees-its over pizza, and off one side. You should have an equal amount of soggy, (top of pizza), and dry, (off to the side of pizza), Chees-its.

Eat pizza.

hungarian to english dictionary

Anyone know how to say 'far out' in Hungarian?

According to babelfish, literally: 'rump out'

...which is, in itself, pretty far out.

misdirection

I dreamt last night that i was drowning in a large can of mushrooms.

be afraid, be very afraid

The instructions were very clear: 'Maintain a 70%+ nitrogen environment to inhibit pod growth'. Pretty easy instructions, right? Just keep the pod on planet earth, exposed to air and all will be OK. We sold quite a few dormant mindworm pods, assuming everyone could follow these easy instructions. Some careless customer has failed to heed the warning. Now we have a mess...

Coming soon: Mindworm Pod #2 - Signs Of Life

original mindworm pod

mindworm pod showing signs of life

Sometimes, often in October, more on weekends than weekdays, i feel like a gerbil trapped in a man's body.